See Through Me

i wish
 this was 
    one of those  
        situations that  
              just works itself out. 

because im completely fucking lost.

no one updates this crap anymore.


life is good.

ive gotten everyone that i cant trust out of my life.

so now im only with people that i love and trust. =]

works great.
schools aiiight.
and not partying all the time isnt such a bad thing.

i started talking to and hanging out with one of my best friends again. i missed him soooo much. im glad hes back =].


anyway. im probably not going to update this like ..ever again. just like everyone else. just felt like it.

so peace it <3

 

maybe things arent that bad. maybe i was being melodramatic. i guess everyone is a little theatrical at times.

on top of everything, i was thinking, i really should be THANKFUL for these last couple weeks.

I have:
-found out who my few good friends are, the ones that stay by my side in crucial moments.
-found out who isnt my friend at all.
-dropped those people completely and its kind of like a burden taken off.
-realized how just one person can make such a spectacular change in someones life.
-also learned that school and work may be a bit more important than the rep you get from partying.
-and no matter how hard you keep trying to get their respect, some family member will never really accept you, and it hurts. a lot..

i talked to my best friend for a while the other day, i really needed that. having my best friend living in california is way harder than i thought it was going to be. i almost cried when we got off the phone because im really scared that we are loosing touch. i wont let it happen but its so hard to catch her when she can use the phone. and if and when she is allowed, im at work or my phone is being stupid and goes straight to voicemail because its a ghetttttooo biachh. 

i started concentrating on school more lately. my grades were already slipping and its not even half of SENIOR year. but it only took two and a half days of going in after school to make up all my shit. woo.

speaking of school, a lot of people came up to me and asked "why didnt we see you at the party this weekend?!" 
hahaha. i went from being a person that didnt even need an invite, just because it was known that i would be there, to not being allowed back. just because of one thing, and im not even going to call it a mistake, because thats the main event that led me to show who the true people are in my life.

any way, im not good at thanking people. im always the one giving advice, and for once im the one that needed it. i guess when i realized that i didnt have everything in order for once, i kind of mentally freaked out. thinking how the fuck am i going to do this?! funny how things, no matter how bad they are, still have some good points. i really want to thank the people that i have been talking to a bit more lately..its nice to know that you guys are my friends. and thanks for letting me text you 24/7 haha =] 

if i ever become an emo bitch, someone slap me and tell me to straighten up.

my god, livejournal, is actually becoming a journal.


loveeeeeeee you guys..
later. <sup><333


x</sup>o^xo^x

fuckkkkkk youuuuuuuuu

Day
     after 
           day...

it just gets 
worse.

What happen to time healing pain?

i have to work tomorrow [[thanksgiving]] from 2 pm to 10 pm.


bummer. =/

"I live to be near you,
To feel your gentleness.
My world begins and ends in your arms."
dedicated. <3




i used to not believe in love and fate and all the other bullshit life throws at you. when someone with such meaning comes into your life, your whole perspective on life and its obstacles change in your own eyes. love is stronger then death itself. i would do almost anything for the love we shared and lost. i miss you terribly & i dont care who knows it. fuck being strong.

i made something that was a _^small problem into a big situation. it was only a problem for me and i dont even know why. now basically everyone that lives in my house is involved and i feel like everyones choosing someone over me. i was just venting and tried talking to my parents for once, which turned out to be the totally wrong thing to do because they made it into this hugeee deal and started throwing in a bunch of shit i didnt even say. i hurt someone that didnt deserve to be hurt because truthfully hes a great person. and now the two people that matter most to me are mad at me, and even though they havent actually told me that, its easily enough stated. well..lesson learned. hold emotions in, they arent worth drama.


time for woooork;;the one thing that takes my mind off of..well..everything.

peace it <3

"For a long time it had seem to me that life was about to begin - Real Life. 
But there was always some obstacle in the way, some unfinished 
business, time to be served, a debt to be paid.
 Then life would begin.  At last, it dawned on me 
that those obstacles were my life."



x  </3  o

wooo whooo i got off work 4 hours earli =]



Happy Halloween everyone <33 




on another note;;i talked to kristin last nite !!! woo 1st time in forever! love you kristin <3